Are you a Tawa or a Pressure cooker or a Volcano? Types of Anger

A few years ago, heavily pregnant with my daughter was having a conversation with my brother and he actually described my anger style, I was blown away by his insight. He said I’m like a hot Tawa, when you add water in it its just sizzles and later goes back to normal temperature. He observed that I'm often too quick prone to irritation, yell, and pent out all the frustration at one go then act normal as though nothing has happened.

As a psychologist I'm often curious to observe once anger and ponder upon why people get angry. Based on my observation I broadly categorize people under three types of anger style

1. A Tawa

2. A Pressure cooker &

3. A volcano

Let’s us briefly look at their unique style of expressing anger

A Tawa

As mentioned before. People are quick to get annoyed; they usually are very expressive and people also can sense their frustration too easily. They prefer to get anger out of their system rather than holding onto the negative feelings. They also feel it’s better to let people know what caused them distress immediately rather than hiding their emotions. I found this type of anger common among the female gender, especially the mother’s, next time any relative is about to arrive, or when the house is messy and you ask for a cup of coffee you will see a hot Tawa sizzling away.

A Pressure Cooker

These are people according to me are the ones who hold on their emotions for a longer time, than a Tawa, they are slow to react to anything, good at suppressing their frustrations, and denying true reason why they got angry in the first place. However just like a cooker they boil and add up the pressure and one fine day for the silliest reason they whistle away all their pent-up pressure in one go. I found this type of anger among men and specifically the father, next time observe them they are quiet, minding their own business , suddenly if the kids are making noise or someone from family whisk away the TV remote, you can see a pressure cooker bursting away in a loud noise.

A Volcano

A rare species among human being, they always have a smile on their face, never to react, the last one to respond to an insult, difficult to read their expressions, we may never know if they like or hate or tolerating us. However just like a volcano which can build up the heat for years together and we may never know it is actually undercurrent of boiled lava buried under a stone, one-day fine day for a trivial matter that one may usually ignore, but they would suddenly with no warning with a huge blast and years of anger flow onto you, it's better to run as they have a lot to say to you ….this type of person are found in both among men and women however they as I mentioned before they are a rare species midst us.

Dr.Akeela.P

On the Path to a New Normal Life!

When we entered 2020, we all had plans to get married, travel to exotic locations, get our dream job, reach our financial goals, study abroad, but everything changed in just a matter of few weeks of 2020.

When we got to know about the spread of the virus, we all assumed it's not going to affect us, thinking the problem lies far away in an unknown destination. Soon we got to hear the first case in our city still we thought the situation was in control.

One fine day we all woke up and the virus just like a global network was able to reach everywhere, we all had to face the grim situation we were in and the unthinkable happened “The lockdown.” Still, we were hopeful and thought guess what “ I needed this much break from work”, “I will finish the novel that was pending”, “ I will start watering the plants”, “ spend quality time with my family”, “will eat healthy and exercise, get in shape”, “ will sleep more” some of these things we did follow, however, most of us were glued to YouTube, NETFLIX, Amazon Prime, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, watching TikTok videos, there’s nothing wrong with it, we all did whatever that needs to be done so that we remain sane and to be normal.

We all woke to a new world, new reality, new rules, we were pushed rather than given a choice. We all were for the first time mourning together as a humanity for the loss of the old world, there’s was a day when we complained about the old world but when that was lost all we did was mourn for the loss of old-world, just like a grieving stage we denied the reality, we felt frustrated, missed the liberty to go out, eat in our favorite restaurant, social gatherings where large people was mandatory we got use to small intimate people, rather than a taboo, it was indeed new norm of the world. Within a day we no longer were dependent on the cab services, food services which marked as a daily routine for us. We all got to witness the highest mortality rate in the history of mankind, loss of business, unemployment, the experience of fear, and anxiety for the future of us and our family members.

Yet we never lost the hope for the cure, all thrived did our best to cope with the lockdown, adopted into the new lifestyle, giving a pathway to new version of yourself, new belief systems, new attitudes.

I Guess in the end, each one of us as humans has evolved on the same day, we all entered to a “ NEW NORMAL LIFE”, right now we all need to figure, what this “New Normal Life” means to us, each one of us in our phase, have to accept the “ New Normal life”.The sooner we do the better we feel.

Dr.Akeela.P